That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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