possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
