do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
