I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
