Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
