btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
