I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
