so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
