Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
