i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
