If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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