i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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