Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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