The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have aggressive nipples.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
