You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
