Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize