Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
