Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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