Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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