do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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