theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
