Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
her vagine was all disorganized.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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