have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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