if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
