So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
