This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
