apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so let's talk penis.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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