i wish starbucks made bloody marys
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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