We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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