I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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