I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
