You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
