She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
