i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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