thus making me awesome and them whores
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
