Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
