If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
