I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
