looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh god it's open bar.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
