I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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