But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
