she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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