Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
