im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
