I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize