Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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