somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
