Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize