My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she smelled like a LAN party
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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