I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize