He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
