I wish I could teleport
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
