Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
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