Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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