i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
