this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
