I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize