real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he was CRYING into my vagina
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize