So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
