Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
