he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
