The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
