i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
