hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
