I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
