at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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