Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
A+ Viking dick
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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