How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
